Dear Young Ameraucana Rooster: You just started crowing and now you are sewing your wild oats. While I understand the pressures and confusions of puberty, I would like to point out to you that you are a chicken. Not a duck. So STOP THE CROSS-SPECIES SHENANIGANS! The Management.

Dear Sweet Young Rooster: I just can't handle it any more. I am not condoning your behavior at all, but I feel the need to point out to you that a duck's head is the part with the bill, and the tail is the part with all the feathers. Enough said. The Management.

Dear Nutty Duck Who Sleeps In The Chicken Coop: The chicken coop is large. There are plenty of places for you to sleep at night that are not underneath the roosts. For the sake of cleanliness, perhaps you should select a position which, when you look up, is not directly beneath a chicken's back side. Just a suggestion. The Management.

Dear Little Male Pygmy Goats: You are all neutered. You are also about 2 feet shorter than the female Spanish and Boer goats. Enough Said. The Management.

Dear Nutty Duck Who Sleeps In The Chicken Coop: Please consider inviting your boyfriend in or staying outside with him. It breaks my heart to watch him waiting there for you every morning, anxiously pacing along the outside of the coop, barely able to contain himself for the moment you emerge. Can't you take pity on a lovestruck drake? Just a suggestion. The Management.

Dear Ducks: That light over the pond is meant to give you light at night so that you can see a predator and call to the dogs. It also helps the dogs see a predator. It is not perch. It is not intended to hold your not insignificant weight (especially some of you drakes -- you know who you are.) We are going to fix the light AGAIN and I would prefer if you perched in the trees as usual. This will save your lives and our sanity. Trust us. The Management.

Dear Belligerent And Not So Smart Hen Who Is Trying To Hatch A Light Bulb: It's been 5 weeks since you began sitting on the bulb. At week 2, most hens would have realized that there was no life in the bulb and rolled it out of the nest. By week 3, it should have hatched. It is now week 5 and you are still trying to rip my hand off everytime I attempt to approach you and your beloved bulb. Give it up. The Management.

Dear Young Ameraucana Rooster: You just started crowing and now you are sewing your wild oats. While I understand the pressures and confusions of puberty, I would like to point out to you that you are a chicken. Not a duck. So STOP THE CROSS-SPECIES SHENANIGANS! The Management.

Dear Sweet Young Rooster: I just can't handle it any more. I am not condoning your behavior at all, but I feel the need to point out to you that a duck's head is the part with the bill, and the tail is the part with all the feathers. Enough said. The Management.

Dear Nutty Duck Who Sleeps In The Chicken Coop: The chicken coop is large. There are plenty of places for you to sleep at night that are not underneath the roosts. For the sake of cleanliness, perhaps you should select a position which, when you look up, is not directly beneath a chicken's back side. Just a suggestion. The Management.

Dear Little Male Pygmy Goats: You are all neutered. You are also about 2 feet shorter than the female Spanish and Boer goats. Enough Said. The Management.

Dear Nutty Duck Who Sleeps In The Chicken Coop: Please consider inviting your boyfriend in or staying outside with him. It breaks my heart to watch him waiting there for you every morning, anxiously pacing along the outside of the coop, barely able to contain himself for the moment you emerge. Can't you take pity on a lovestruck drake? Just a suggestion. The Management.

Dear Ducks: That light over the pond is meant to give you light at night so that you can see a predator and call to the dogs. It also helps the dogs see a predator. It is not perch. It is not intended to hold your not insignificant weight (especially some of you drakes -- you know who you are.) We are going to fix the light AGAIN and I would prefer if you perched in the trees as usual. This will save your lives and our sanity. Trust us. The Management.

Dear Belligerent And Not So Smart Hen Who Is Trying To Hatch A Light Bulb: It's been 5 weeks since you began sitting on the bulb. At week 2, most hens would have realized that there was no life in the bulb and rolled it out of the nest. By week 3, it should have hatched. It is now week 5 and you are still trying to rip my hand off everytime I attempt to approach you and your beloved bulb. Give it up. The Management.